1

wake up, look yourself into the mirror.

SMILE..!

For and to you.

Why? Coz you deserve it

It wasn't an easy decision to decide to wake up and face the world again.  :)

LOVE YOUR PARENTS MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF. ESPECIALLY YOUR MOTHER.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNSdNCu2h_c&feature=related

Janganlah menjadi anak derhaka. Sayangi ibu bapa anda  walau teruk macamanapun. Usahalah menjadi anak yang soleh.

To do and Not to do

Once in awhile and every so often, we find ourself conflicted on our decisions and actions. Admit it, you know what I'm saying~ You are trying to make a decision for your group and your brain will come to conflict on what is best for the team and what is the preference for the individuals in the team. Best for the team is going of the box and achieving a reputation and name to be proud of, while what is prefered by individuals is to do the simple and easy one to cater to laziness of individuals.

To Do: walk in your shoes; it IS your life
Not To Do: Trying to live up to other's expectation

To Do: Your best
Not To Do: Other people's best.

To Do: Fight for what is right
Not To Do: Fight just coz you want to

THURSDAY, 23 FEB 2012, STAFFS TIME

That's yesterday. I am in the lab right now, 9.00am. Waiting for Phil to teach me something. But he's not even moving from his table.   Think I just start the experiment by my own.

I felt wiggly wiggly to day. I'm not sure what should I describe my current emotions right now. Rase badan lemah lemah saje. Yesterday at Global Cafe, I didn't finish my dinner. Katherine says that when a man can't finish his meal he must be in love. I replied 'no way, mane ade;p'.

I tend to lie, to hide things, when I lie it turn any situation I'm in into awkward.

Oh, wait. Phil just explained to me that today for lab is to just continue from last session. He explained it earlier in class. And today I came in late:)


dahdah... pg buat kerja.

lead the crowd!

and lead the crowd i shall ;)

don't let ignorance win

maybe, this is the one

YOU'RE PARTICIPATING A RACE, AND YOU'RE OVERTAKING THE 2ND PERSON, WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?

honestly, today is the most unproductive day for me. I've spent the whole day in my room. Didn't go out today and I didn't even open any book. I even skip my exercise. Feel so wrong today, I wish I could lie all day in bed. Dreaming that that I'm home. Meeting my beloved parents, meeting runni. Get a job, and start saving some money for kawin.

Sorry I lied, I did go out today. Went for dinner at Mike and Katy's house. Lovely couple they are, the fish, steamed broccoli and mash potatoes were heavenly delicious.

Anyways, it's 0230. I should sleep. zzz.

EXCUSE ME SIR, BUT YOUR PEEING ON MY LEG

Today I have learned a new expression. 'Touche', which pronounces as 'too-shay'. It is used too acknowledge a success of an argument. Or in other words, to admit honorably that " ah.. you've got me there".

So, Runni.. I've read your recent post and yes, .....touche:)

The title has nothing to do with this post. It is a comedy clip I found from youtube that I will put at the end of this post just for laughs. A laugh a day keeps the doctors away.

Today I would like to share a poem that is common to most people, as this is one of the famous poems during high school. It is a nostalgic review for me because it is one of the hardest literature review to understand (at that time), and this is a poem where I can relate to.

Si Tanggang's homecoming

The physical journey that I traverse
Is a journey of the soul, 

Transport of the self from a fatherland 

To a country collected by sight and mind 

The knowledge that sweats from it

Is a stranger’s knowledge,

From one who has learnt to see, think

And choose between The changing realities.

It’s true I have growled at my mother and grandmother

But only after having told of my predicament 

That they have never brought to reason. 

The wife that I began to love in my loneliness,

In the country that alienated me, 

They took to their predecisions.

I have not entirely returned, 

I know,

Having been change by time and place,

Coarsened by problems

Estranged by absence.

But look, I have brought myself home,

Seasoned by confidence,Broadened by land and languages,

I am no longer afraid of the oceans

Or the differences between people

Not easily fooled by words or ideas 

The journey was a loyal teacher

Who was never tardy

In explaining cultures or variousness.

It is true, almost six months I have been away from home. Away from my complacency in life, the way of life that I prefer and away from my families and friends. No more jogging on Sunday morning at Tasek with abah or Izaan, Imanul, and have breakfast at Lontong Klang after exercise. No more accompanying Tok Mak to the Sunday Market at the Stadium Melawati (Now I substitute with Sunday morning car boot sale).

I miss hangouts, picnic with friends at Junjung waterfall, karaoke, hotwater in Baling with the Rnr gang, cycling to Batu Ferringhi with Danial san. Watching movies at the Pacific (berapa kali je pun pegi). I am the kind of 'lepak' person. But not a meaningless lepak, I love activities that involve outdoors. I prefer picnic at the beach rather that karaoke with friends (kalau only with runni I ok aje).  

In Staffs, to counter my boredom of studies. For social life I do join the bible class studies on Thursday night and Arabic class on Friday night. And also on Sunday evening I go to the Global Cafe to join tea party and play chess with Mike. On Wednesdays, I like to join talks and activities carried out by the career center.

Mike reminds me of the late Pak Non, the old timer next to my flat in Penang. I look to them as my grandfathers. I always have grandfathers even back during my time in mrsm Langkawi. I won't forget them. I owe them.

No more copy paste or 'tiru' from colleagues when doing assignment (they take plagiarism very very very seriously here) I have to do on my own. Which means going to the library often and reading a lot and a lot and a lot of textbooks. My lecturers told me to have the mentality of assuming study life as a full time job. Where you work from 8 till 5, probably more, and the Degree as your salary.

 No more 'lewat', 'janji melayu', as I have been scolded sarcastically here (Liverpool trip). They will treat you differently when your late for no reason, they will really relate that to where I come from and say that you are a disgrace to your country:( 

The Mat Salleh here takes punctuality issue very seriously. Especially Germans, I have a German lecturer and he always early in everything. He is the first of all my lecturers to finish marking papers.

No more Taekwondo class with Ustaz Mansur (I miss him and Ummi). But I do attend boxercise class on Tuesdays here in the uni, and recently a kick boxing class on Fridays. I will miss all that once I started working probably on April.

Seems that I really live comfortable here aside from all the activities that I join in Staffs. But don't judge me thinking that I neglect my studies by joining this kind of activities. Yes I am not doing well currently, but not that I do nothing about it.

I believe in the drive that makes a person enthusiastic in whatever their doing. If some people must smoke in order to concentrate during study. Then I have my own methods.

I also believe in intentions of the goal that one is pursuing. From the last paragraph of the poem, is the my true real intention.

Which is, I want to go home. Where there is peace at home. For I will not go home empty handed, Not only with a Degree, Masters, PhD, but with limitless knowledge to share and to contribute to the community, and my religion. Insyaallah.

I'm gonna stop being serious for a the time being, lets just enjoy this clip.

I should change! Maybeee... tomorow? :o]

Sometimes, at times, kadang-kala, 2-kali-2-kala, but MOST dan selalunya we KNOW what's wrong with ourself. But we somehow are able to convince ourself with the excuses that we give ourself~ takpelah bukan selalu nak enjoy, alah esok lah start again. We tell ourself that we are a lazy, we need to work more, kurangkan facebook, we have to do more, usaha lagi kuat dan sewaktu dengannya but we often spend more time convincing ourself that its ok to screw-up pastu end up never overcome our problems.

Sometimes, we promise ourself that things must and will improve- kononya nak ubah la ~,~, then right in the middle of it~ " Hmmm.... I've done this for 3 days, I can afford to cut myself some slack today kan???" *troll face*. Then the same excuse comes up d next day, and the next and so on; untill we realise yang 'some slack' tu dah pun terlalu lama dan we're back at square one- FAIL.

So yeah, why do we do this to ourselves?? But WHYyyy?(#thesyndicateproject @youtube) We torture ourself, mentally, emotionally to go through bad phase, to better, holiday, fail and back at the bad-only more depressed... kan??? Tak tahu lah korang, tapi for me memang konfom depress- rase cam loser gile.

To be honest, even I don't know myself-coz I do it too. I guess its a part of the human nature to be compassionate- konon simpati -,-; of others and sometimes slightly biased more to ourselves?? Lol.What ever it is... We need to stop doing this. Our soul must be singing Christina perri-a thousand years  while waiting for the change its longing for. Wawawa....

Okay2, sorry lost my focus for a while just now. What I was trying to say is.... If we want to improve, we cant just 'know' whats wrong with us, cause that is understood. We must start working to what will and ignore the whispers and temptation of  'cutting ourself some slack' while we're on it, cause if we are willing to give in to your failure it will always be apart of us. And in life, failure is NOT an option, but a sad accident, a horrible fall :(. Which we must accept will happen; but still never an option.

Stop cutting yourself 'some slack'

Cause you're almost there.

~ i KNOW you are XD

THE GENEROUS CORN FARMER

There once was a successful farmer who grew good quality corn.

One day his son ask him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. His son discovered that his father shared his seed of corn with his neighbors.

"Why are you generous enough to share your good seed of corn to our neighbours father?" his son asked.

 "Didn't you know son? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbors grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn." said the farmer.

He is very much aware of the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbor's corn also improves.

So it is with our lives. 








value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. 


Those who choose to be happy must help others to find happiness, 


for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all.



"if we are to grow good corn, we must help our neighbors grow good corn."






but, what happens if they don't want your help?


well, you haven't ask yet.


 And if they don't want your help, it's maybe because some people who knows that they are in trouble but they don't know what to do, 


too shy or to ego to ask.


-being caring is the hardest thing to do. But it is worth more than gold and diamonds in  the long run. Because Allah pays you.

Nick and his soulmate.  Finally he has found his special someone.


"My wife is coming, and I may not have hands to hold my wife's hand, 
                                                         but I don't need hands to hold her heart. And that's all I wanna hold"

YOU CAN SAVE SOMEONE

You can save someone's life, yes people. Saving people from drowning, saving a kid from being run over by a car, saving a girl from committing suicide.

no,  that's not what I mean.

It's saving someone's life by just acknowledge them . Ask them what worries them and try to help. Encourage them.

'...who cares, not my problem. Your jack, your problem. Not my responsibility. I'm no angel. Mind my own business. Tak mahu jaga tepi kain orang.'

Sometimes I do feel like that. I mean why the hell do I have to care for someone where as I have a lots of problem of my own.  Ignorance is a bliss, selfish at it's best.

But when people get crazy, do stupid things, angry all the time, bad mood.

then we ask. What the hell is their problem?






Anyways, I have this motivational video to share by Nick Vujicic (handsome mat salleh ni).  He talks about how to save people's life. He talks about his purpose in life and how he likes to love people and encourage people.

Whenever I'm down I listen to this vid. Hear a couple of my fav songs and then continue my work. Yes , thats my plan..

I'm not writing this because I'm depressed. Just a little la.

okla, mmg im deppressed skit, but its ok. things gonna work out.


anyways, I just want to know that you look great today, and everything's gonna be ok:)





" Can you forgive those who hurts you, because that's where healing starts.
                          Every time someone puts you down will you make a decision to bring somebody else up?"

The naked chef inspires mua :D

So I'm watching Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. I watched and realised that if you want to see a change, it has to start from you. Jamie is a known celeb chef and being great with that helped him to change the people to revolutionize and eat healthy food, cos he is a great chef thus people are able to trust his cooking- he also gets to prove it too cos he's great. If you want to see a great world, you gotta start being a great person. This change doesn't need to be directly or at one go. You can start being great step-by-step- do small but great steps. Work one area at a time. One area to another eventually makes the whole area. you are one of those small area which will eventually spread out to the rest of the area- InsyaAllah. :)

So.... I'm gonna start being great. I wanna make a diffrence with the vision of a great life.

fruits for reflection

i was cutting mango for a late night dinner

i was cutting the top and peeling the skin and suddenly it struck me- humans are just like fruits.

 judged and refered by the skin- their look, how one present themselves. Like how you judge i the fruit is ripe, just nice or rotten. Same as humans, we see how they look like, dress up and appearance.

After that is done

The flesh is consumed/ used as nutritions. As for humans; our capabilities and knowledge are used by others and ourselves just like how fruits are evaluated- the best and most nutritious are the most valuable ones.

Then we come to the seed, which we couldn't care less (unless you're a farmer or some fruit gardener). Little do we realise, the seed plays such a big role; like the soul it determines the future. A good seed grows great trees and improve the humans needs and wants. While a bad seed benefits none to anyone, not even itself.
As time passes by a good seed, though no longer a seed, it has changed things and itself for the better- Providing shades to those who are in need of it and bear great delicious and nutritious fruits.
The bad seed might still just be a bad seed and decompose to nothing, or perhaps if its a bad with a litle good seed it grows to a tree that could provide shade. ;)

So are you a bad or a good seed??